Three reflections one year post military retirement – Part 3

From day one in the military, teamwork is instilled in service members. Teamwork really is the essence of military service- a group of citizens from all walks of life working together to accomplish a singular mission. Great team players are quickly recognized and their actions rewarded. We even have an expression for non-team players- BFs or “blue falcons” as they are sometimes called, are those who struggle with the team concept and appear to be just looking out for themselves.

Comradery and teamwork are certainly two of the defining characteristics of military service that kept me serving for nearly a quarter of a century.  Even though I am already a year removed from service, I miss it on occasion. I just don’t see the same level of “team” in the civilian world as I did in the military.

Although many of us who served may be great team players, in our private lives, we may prefer solitude or the company of only the closest family and friends. Keeping a large circle of friends and staying connected frequently in social settings doesn’t come natural to some of us. Many would be surprised to learn that in the inherently loud and sometimes violent profession of arms, many of us are quite introverted.

This description fits me to a letter. I am blessed with great friends I’ve made over the years but am one of the worst at staying connected. It certainly doesn’t mean I don’t think about them often, but I just don’t reach out as much as I should. And as far as going out to network and meet new friends? Don’t get me started!  I am definitely “unsatisfactory” at this task.

Which brings me to the third and final conclusion I’ve made over the past year as I reflect on my transition from the military back to civilian life. Transitioning out of the military is a team sport. To do it successfully, you have to tear down those barriers and talk to people.

My wife thinks it’s just stupid pride and perhaps she is correct, but I cannot stand asking for help. Retiring from the military taught me to get over it. Without the help from a team of recent military retirees, our landing back in the civilian world would not have been as smooth as it was.

Don’t get me wrong, I was very pleased with the out processing at my installation.  I actually enjoyed and found very useful my Transition Assistance Program (TAP) training and took advantage of the human resource personnel’s assistance. My DD214, retirement pay, Survivors Benefits Program, Tricare all transferred seamlessly from active duty to the retired rolls. Heck, clearing CIF wasn’t even that bad!

It’s a couple of other big transition milestones where I needed help. Let’s start with VA. At the end of the day, my VA experience turned out well, but it certainly would not have if I didn’t seek help from my retiree teammates. There are so many different directions on how to accomplish the VA disability rating process, it is hard to know where to start

I chose to submit the Benefits Delivery at Discharge (BDD) claim option as I was fortunate to be able to complete my VA appointments while out processing and on terminal leave. I also chose not to seek the help from one of the many organizations designed to help veterans through the claims process. I felt I could manage the process on my own.

While much of the VA process is automated and actually works pretty well, the problem is there is no one to ask (easily) at the VA when you have a question. As a result, recent retiree friends are crucial to ensure this important part of transitioning back to civilian life is complete.

A great example of this occurred shortly after I began terminal leave, I bumped into a recent retiree friend who asked if I had uploaded a certain form to the VA web site because if not, my claim would not be completely processed. I researched and sure enough, he was correct! He found out the hard way and took the time to help out a buddy (see opening comments about teamwork) so I wouldn’t have to go through the pain he did.  At no point was there any checklists or instruction that clearly stated this one critical step.

I continued to seek out my recent retiree friends throughout the VA process while my claim was pending. As a result, after my retirement date, I received my notification letter right on time. Would not have been possible without my team of friends help.  Wanting to pay back, I was fortunate to be able to offer some lessons learned to the next “cohort” of retirees a few months later through their VA process.

Nowhere did I need to rely on my team of friends more during the transition back to civilian life than in the job hunt. Initially, probably due to my stupid pride, I was of the mindset to go it alone in the search for employment. I learned quickly, in the civilian world, this is dang near impossible. It is difficult to get your foot in the door of a company unless you know someone on the inside.

I probably submitted at least 20 applications on job finder web sites and through corporate career pages. I got zero interviews. I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. Networking is very unnatural for me. Cold calling an acquaintance I haven’t spoken with in a number of years, sending out my resume and asking others to distribute it for me or meeting acquaintances for a networking lunch are just not things I enjoy doing.

Yet, once I began networking, doors began to open. I went from zero call backs to about a dozen interviews before finally landing the right job. How did I pass the initial screening for this job? You guessed it, a former Army buddy floated my resume to an organization he knew that was looking for help.

Civilians know how to network and understand its importance during the job hunt. As veterans returning back to civilian life, we have to learn this truth quickly. Networking still isn’t a natural act for me, but I’m trying to get better. Call it what you will but we have to get over our pride, introvert personality or just social awkwardness and reach out to our friends for help. Transitioning out of the military is a team sport.